Quick Updates

Well, how’s that for a New Year, New Me resolution, huh? It’s been some time… again. But piggybacking off my last post, today’s theme is : fear and anticipation for the future!

Whoop whoop.

After doing some research about my income and work that I would be conducting once I graduate, I have come to the continual realization that I want to work in a more engineering based field. So here I am, once again, trying to get the cogs to turn in my favor. I’ve spent the last week (I’d like to say quarter, but this past week and a half is where 95% of the progress was made) e-mailing professors and asking about what I’d need to accomplish to be worthy of their programs.

Truthfully, I’ve been putting it off since I started school; I knew I had to contact them since week 2, but it’s now the beginning of week 7 and I bit the bullet and sent out a plethora of e-mails.

It’s off my chest, but now I have appointments with said professors, to ask more indepth questions. Questions about what I don’t know, things that I don’t know that I don’t know. And truthfully I am just as nervous about it, if not more so, than trying to kick my butt to send, what is essentially, a formal text message.

But that’s done and out of the way, what prompted me to come back to this was that I am also striving for something else — studying abroad. I was about to work on my cheat sheet for one of my classes when I had this rather jarring thought “don’t get your hopes up, you probably won’t get in.”

I’m applying for a program in Munich, focusing on — guess what?! — engineering! And I was reading the prerequisites and it made me nervous because, as always, I feel massively under-qualified. I don’t know if I can ever shake this feeling,  inadequacy.  I have back up plans, but by God, do I want this program. 

It’s debilitating, because I realize it’s a defense mechanism to protect myself from the future disappointment. It’ll hurt less if I care less, right? But I fall fearfully into the realm of self fulfilling prophecies: will I be my own demise? This stress, this anxiety, this fear, perpetually runs through my mind like a hamster on a wheel. Ever present.

It’s hard to shake. But I’m trying, trying so friggen hard to see past it. To work past it.


Moving Forward

One of the most daunting aspects of life is — at least to little ol’ control freak me– is the future. How unfathomable it is, how unpredictable, how… even with the utmost certainty you can possess, with perfect execution, can still result in unimaginable circumstances.

It terrifies me.


Not the simple things like, what I’d like to eat, but as I am in my final year as an undergraduate, I am left to ponder what I’d like to do with my BS.  (Fun picture because I’m immature and still giggle at the idea of getting a “BS” diploma).

A majority of my friends graduated within the four years, and watching them go about their post graduate life has definitely been an interesting experience. It makes me slightly more appreciative of my 5th year, as I am far from prepared to set off into the world with where I am at.



One of my friends has this motto, or rather, this is how he’s come about pursuing his dreams. “How do you want your life to feel, in 10 years, 20 years. How will it look?” And of course, I met him at a point in his life after he had spent many nights contemplating this reality; he was able to paint a picture for me. I on the other hand, was still just — and still am — trying to put together the remnants of the destruction my underclassman self left behind.

It’s a question I haven’t actually consciously considered. But as I’ve gone about my days this past summer interning at two different institutions, I began to pick up on some ideas that I would actually enjoy. Ideas I’d want to pursue.

Did that make the stress and terror better?

No. Not at all.

It’s silly; there’s a reason why we say “we’ll cross the bridge when we get to it.” And here I am, scouring the subreddits for information about retirement, buying houses, investing. I have a page in my bullet journal where I’m jotting down different percentages recommended for down payments, full retirement plans broken down to years, etc. I have another page in my Google Drive dedicated to working out different spending / budgeting habits and trends I’d like to maintain in order to meet these investments.

Truthfully, those things come easy. It doesn’t scare me, rather, it’s interesting. It’s like being given a map and told where to go. The only thing you have to do is figure out how you’ll get there.

That’s what leaves me unsettled, makes me nervous.

But all I can do now is set myself up as best I can for success, leave as many doors open, and just keep pushing along.



Happy New Year?!

Okay, so I’m late. Super late. But better now than never, right? I realize I flit between commitment, inspiration, and motivation; or rather, I dabble in the realm of fully enamored with the act of blogging, and reside mostly in the realm of forgetting to write. I’ve been mulling over this, rather, having bouts of inspiration every once in a while, because quite simply, I need to practice my writing once more. And quite fully, because writing brings me joy.

So here I am, in my slightly out-of-focus glory. Returned to bring you the little glimpses of sunlight I can capture throughout my day.


Lorac Mega Pro 3

Lorac3_3.jpgThe first thing I like to do in the morning is check my e-mails. I hate seeing that notification number on any of my apps, and after a plentiful 6 hour night of sleep, I usually wake up to a plethora of junk mail. On a whim, I decided to check the Ulta mail — mainly because I was waiting for a 2x point event — and stumbled upon the ad for the new Lorac Mega Pro 3 Palette. I’ve seen a handful of Youtubers rave about the past Mega Pro Palettes and decided to go have a look at it for myself.
I’ve been eyeing the Modern Renaissance Palette  ever since it came out, but since it’s been sold out for as long as it’s been out on the shelves, I resigned to settling for the Lorac Pro Palette when the double point event came out for Ulta members. But the release of the Mega Pro 3 seemed to be the best of both worlds, because it contains very similar shades from both palettes.lorac3_2

I love the packaging for this palette; I’m a sucker for all things chic and white. The rose gold accents was just a beautiful touch that stole my heart — and purse strings. At just a plump $60 for 16 shimmer and 16 matte smooth and buttery shadows, how could I resist?

I was looking for warm matte brown shades for a neutral every day look, and found that “Pecan” and “Walnut” were perfect shades for adding dlorac3_4epth to my medium skin tone (which is very similar to the color “Tan” in this palette.) I also really like the color “Mist.” It looks grey in the picture and in the palette, but when applied over the eye it comes out as a softer white that modestly highlights the lid. I liked to use “Extra Creamy” from the Too Faced Peanut Butter palette, since it’s the only white eyeshadow I have, but sometimes it’s just too much and too white.

lorac3_5 Oranges are one of my favorite colors for eyeshadow (mainly because my skin tone is just so warm.. I tan into an oompaloompa) and the other range of colors I completely adore are purples. This palette doesn’t have many shades in this spectrum, but I used “Eggplant” in my outer v the other day and it was amazing. I was able to build a nice and gentle day-time smoke that made my eyes pop but wasn’t too overbearing. The quality and consistency can be said for all the shadows of this palette. They’re very blendable and layer very well.

I didn’t play too much with the shadows in the bottom left quadrant; I’m definitely on a matte-eyeshadow binge. I did use “Rose Quartz” all over my lid wlorac3_6hich is a very warm and shimmery rose gold. It’s very chic, but a little too dark for my taste to be the only thing on my lid. I used “Snow” to accent and highlight the middle part of my lid. There was little to no fall out from the glitter, which is always a plus — if a little disappointing because I like my cheeks to glitter like a unicorn. 😛

The shade that originally caught my eye in this palette was “Pomegranate.” With fall fast approaching in SoCal (still dealing with the high 80s weather, hng), I’m readying my arsenal of red eyeshadows. I like to use “Pomegranate” to add warmth on top of the browns, on the outer V.  Tlorac3_7he only downside to the palette is that the shadows get powdery in the palette and fall out rather easily (as seen in “Glacier”).

All in all, the Lorac Mega Pro 3 palette is definitely one of my favorite eyeshadow purchases. It’s slim case makes it very easy to carry around, and the colors are so blendable and buildable — it’s not difficult to get the look you want! It’s great range and variety of colors is also great if you are just looking for that one holy grail palette to rule them all. Out of all my palettes, I definitely adore this one for the large variety of shimmers and mattes. All the colors work with each very well, making it very versatile.

Thanks for reading!

A Commuter’s Survival Kit

Between work, school, and my social life, the closest thing I have to home while I’m driving between an assortment of things is my car. It’s too inconvenient to drive home every time I need something, not to mention the additional heartache of watching my gas meter drop and drop due to my own negligence. So here’s a few things I keep in my car!

  1. Clothes
    I keep everything in a duffle bag from Adidas. It’s the Defender 2 series in the size medium. It’s pretty big and excessive for just going to the gym since it can fit my shoes, clothes, and toiletries easily in half the space. So if you’re looking for a bag to take just to the gym, I’d opt for a the size smalls. This bag is perfect, however, to keep a pair of shoes and two sets of emergency clothes and GREAT for weekend trips.3164913-p-2xFor my workouts, I keep a pair of workout pants and booty shorts, two sports bras, two tank tops, and a pair of gloves. I sometimes wear the sports bra I worked out in for the rest of the day, so it’s nice to keep an extra one just in case.The other half of my duffel I use to keep clothes, like I said, for emergencies. Southern California weather swings are sometimes unbearable, so I keep a pair of shorts and a light t-shirt. Some days I stay on campus really late, and keep an extra pair of jeans and a jacket to change into. This has saved me on so many occasions, from when I was pledging and even for work.
  2. Blanket
    On Black Friday my boyfriend and I snagged a nice warm and fluffy blanket from Target. I’ve spent nights at friend’s dorms because I had morning class and knew I wouldn’t wake up early enough to make it if I had to drive from home. This blanket has also been a life saver for when I was a barista at Starbucks. The early morning open shifts (ya gurl had to be there at 4AM) were freezing. I don’t like leaving my engine running, even for the heater, so I was very grateful to have a blanket to cuddle with. Any blanket works, it’s just nice to have an extra layer of comfort for the midday car naps (:acbk9d66i
  3. Toiletries
    I’m a silly girl. I have it marked on so many calendars when my period is coming and I still forget to pack a pad. After many a soiled clothes, I decided to leave not one, not two, but a pack of pads in my car. I only reach for it when I absolutely need to — that way it lasts longer.I also like to keep an extra toothbrush, toothpaste, and contact solution in my car. It seems silly but you never know when you’re going to pass out in the library and it’s a brand new day.
  4. Food
    I keep a box of granola bars in my car, mainly for post workouts, but one of my friends keeps boxes of instant noodles and red bull in her trunk. This inspired me to keep some instant noodles in my car too. I work long shifts, and sometimes there isn’t food at home to pack, or I’m running from class to work and there isn’t enough time to grab something. On days like that, when I’m already swamped and stressed out, it’s reassuring to know that I have something to tie me over.

Thanks for reading!

Republique Brunch


This weekend my friends and I decided to get brunch in LA before we went off to Universal Studios Hollywood. We arrived bright and early at Republique, a modern French restaurant.

The interior was absolutely gorgeous — much more stunning than the pictures we saw on Yelp. The edifice of the store is all windows, allowing the diners to enjoy the hustle and bustle of LA. String lights dangle from the high ceilings, complimented by the warm brick walls and wood tables. My favorite part of the restaurant however, was located further in the restaurant, between the two kitchens under a gorgeous skylight.

IMG_4082.JPGLong tables stretch out under the skylight, resembling a modern-day (and much more modest) Great Hall from Harry Potter. I reserved the table while my friends went  to order food. The wait was rather long, as the registers seemed to take their time ringing patrons, but I was entertained by watching the chefs make bread sticks, waiters whirling in and out of the kitchen with lattes and plates of appetizing food.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to see the pastries at the front of the store. But my friends returned with plates filled with delectables after spending quite some time oogling at the buttery goodness while in line. The ham & cheese croissant was very savory, with a crunchy outer crust and soft fluffy dough on the inside.

The donut was covered in a lemon glaze that was subtle, a nice tart accent to the sweet dough. It wasn’t as fluffy and soft as a Krispy Kreme donut, but it wasn’t dry or hard either.img_4102

Fortunately for us, the food came out quickly. We were famished, having woken up before the sun rose to get ready for the long day. The quality of the food was amazing, and even though we ey
ed each other’s plates, mouths watering, everyone was happy with their own order.

We aren’t normally breakfast people — and it’s sometimes really difficult to get together for lunch before noon. So it’s hard finding time to get breakfast, and when we do we usually venture to Denny’s or IHOP. Republique was a beautiful change of pace.


Pala You Can Eat!


This weekend my family and I journeyed down to Pala Casino for its all-you-can-eat buffet. We beat the dinner rush by arriving right when the buffet opened. I’m not a fancy seafood connoisseur, but I relished in the fact that the raw oyster bar was all you can eat.


Albeit, I did suffer from some unsightly stomach aches later that night, but the 40 oysters I was able to eat at $35 for dinner (with other goodies of course) made the two hour drive worth it.

After dinner, we waddled our way out to Oceanside Pier. The fresh ocean breeze whisked away the edges of our plump stomachs, and my sister and I were able to practice speaking whale.